Looking "Up"

On a recent cross-country flight, I enjoyed the opportunity to watch Disney/Pixar's most recent animated feature, "Up." The main character, Carl, is an elderly and childless man who, upon losing his wife Ellie with whom he'd led a long and happy life, finds himself being forced out of their beloved little house and into a retirement home when he is deemed a "public menace." He and his wife had an unfulfilled, lifelong fantasy of moving to a place called Paradise Falls in South America, and on the day the staff from the retirement home come to take him, Carl ties hundreds of balloons to his house and flies away in pursuit of his and Ellie's dream. Once in the air, he realizes he's accidentally taken along a neighborhood boy, Russell, who had been on his porch attempting to earn a merit badge for "assisting the elderly." The movie is focused on the adventures that Carl and Russell experience while in South America (and I won't spoil the plot, for those who haven't seen it!), but it brought to light some issues and themes about which I often reflect both as a professional geriatric care manager, and as a person who cares deeply about the inner lives of our elders.

Carl is a cantankerous old grump of a character, and Russell is a loud, high-energy schoolboy and "Wilderness Explorer" scout. Through the course of their journey, we learn that Russell is being raised by his single mother, and wishes he spent more time with his re-married father. Russell eventually endears himself to his aged traveling companion, and a deep friendship is born. They learn about the world and about life from one another, and fulfill important roles in each other's lives. It is a sweet demonstration of the value of intergenerational relationships, and I hope that "Up's" younger audiences will internalize this lesson and seek out friendships with the elders in their communities, and value time spent with their own parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

When Carl and Russell's balloon-powered house lands in South America, they realize that they've made it close to Paradise Falls, but have an arduous journey ahead of them, to relocate the house to the precise spot about which he and Ellie had dreamed. When faced with a difficult choice, Carl comes to the realization that "it's just a house." Until then, he had been very focused on it, and the things therein, as essential to his happiness and to the fulfillment of this particular dream. This brings to mind the complex relationship that many elders have with their family homes, as symbols of independence and a source of connection to memories and former roles and relationships. For my own grandmother, leaving her house meant not only accepting a new type of dependence on others, but relinquishing an important role - her home would no longer be the gathering place for celebrations and holidays, and she would no longer be able to provide a warm meal or a bed for visiting friends and family. Warm hospitality was a central feature of my grandmother's character, and looking back with hindsight, I wish we'd found more ways as a family to continue to foster that part of her after she moved into her assisted living apartment. For my grandmother, and for many others, letting go of her house felt like a loss of independence, but was in reality only a shift to a new type of interdependence.

The most important message I received from "Up" was that setting goals and achieving dreams is an ongoing process that should take place throughout our lives. Carl and Ellie had dreamed of children - and did not have them. They had dreamed of Paradise Falls - and did not get there. But they adapted to their circumstances, set new goals, and lived a happy and full life together. When things are looking grim in South America, Carl finds a message that Ellie had left for him before her death, which reads "Thanks for the adventure - now go have a new one!" and is renewed in his efforts. Carl's dreams of a life in South America with his beloved Ellie were not realized, but through the journey and his friendship with Russell, a new purpose for his later life was revealed. We see this in our work with our clients, and know it to be true: we are always growing, it is never too late to set and achieve goals, and there is purpose in every moment lived.